BJ and BRANDY

BJ and BRANDY

is a couple that live on the second floor. They are the only people that don't do drugs or drink. And yet somehow, they are the center of the WORST drama in the house.

BJ is a wanna be gangster/wigger and he kind of looks like he has down syndrome. He shaves his head to the bone constantly, and yet he refuses to tan the top of his head. So literally from his eyebrows and up his head is milky white, and the rest of him is tan. It adds more to the retard look.

Brandy is an obese, tomyboyish white woman with bad blond hair. She talks with a terrible lisp because she chews tobacco. Both she and BJ are on SSI and they pay 700 bucks for 1 room because they are stupid enough to do so.

They have been 'together' for 9 years and they still constantly cheat on eachother.

Here's a typical fight

BJ: don't worry babby when i get my pacyhceck i'm come here and tweet u real nice!!

Brandy: oh baby

once BJ gets his paycheck, he disappears for a week

Brandy: CAN I USE YOUR PHONE? BJ IS OFF FUCKIN DAT BLACK PUSSY AGAIN! YOU KNOW HE TEXTS DEM BLACK BITCHES RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME LIKE ALL THE TIME?!!? HE TWIED TO KISS A BLACK BITCH IN FRONT OF ME OMG!!

me: sorry, i don't have the minutes

BJ: (calls me) Yeah. tss. Dis is BJ. Is brandy on blair?

Me: I'm at work, i dunno.

BJ: will you have her give me a call, i was out payin money to dem people dat owe me and not fuckin dat black pussy

ME: w/e sure

And when they finally meet up again, Brandy throws BJ's shit out, they get in a huge fight, and the cops get called and one of them gets kicked out.

This happens EVERY FUCKING WEEK.

NON STOP.

EVERY DAY THERE IS DRAMA WITH THEM.

"HE BE FUCKIN DAT BLACK PUSSY"

"baby shut up you fuck dem black diqs when im gone"

"WHY WAS THERE A NAKED FAT 16 YEAR OLD BLACK GIRL IN MY BED BJ?"

"i dunno baby"

the way they look makes it even more hilarious

pics as soon as possible

PATRICE

-Patrice.

She is our neighbor. When we first moved in, us and patrice were the only people on the third floor. She is a bald black crack smoking prostitute. The first thing she said to us upon meeting her was "YA'LL GOT A CIGARETTE FOR PATRICE?" Her room constantly smells like pee, and she will occasionally shit on the staircase. She does know her shit about crack though. Whenever we smoke, she is more than happy to aid us in any questions, and i don't really mind rolling up a cigarette for her every now and again. I walked up to my apartment the other day and heard sanford and son blairing from her room while she was cracked out.

She attracts the worst kind of people though. She has her apartmetn becauuse she is on SSI. She's the kind of person that will hang out at the drop in center all day, waiting for that montly check, so she can go on a 4 day binge and live like a king. Then the rest of the month it's hookin and food stamps.

On sundays, she will play gosspel music on her radio. Because god don't care how many dicks you suck, uh uh. Long as you repent on dat sunday.

We love her though, because without Patrice, avondale just wouldn't be complete.

Pics yet to come, will try to snag a picture of her somehow. :|

NICOLE

The people that are/were in my house:

-Nicole.

She is a white junkie prostitute, although she does not talk about hookin, every panhandling junkie female turns tricks. She is the one that showed us the place. In a lot of ways she is like our mother. When our squat house had just got raided by nigger gangs (on the west side), me and my husband walked around Ludlow, and planned to sleep in the woods that night. Then we ran into her flying a sign, and she took us home that night. She started out real sweet, giving us free rinses of her dope. Trading dope for tobacco. Doing cute junkie mom stuff. We'd try to help her out in any way we could and she would just be like 'WELL, YOU GAVE ME TWO POP TARTS, SO I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU BACK TWO HERSHEY KISSES AND A SHOT OF COKE TO MAKE IT EVEN. " derp

Since her man overdosed and died there, she has been trying to fill the void.

One man she brought home, was pretty cool, he was a total leech though and disappeared once he got his paycheck at the end of the month.

Her new man is a big fat bald white guy. He is funny in a lot of ways, but gets insanely angry when nicole hangs out with anyone that isn't him. He beats her.

She is such a nice girl though. She's one of those people who used to be a punk and just ended up being a junkie. She likes good music and is very sweet.

That pic is of us a long long time ago

MY SHITTY HOUSE

MY HOUSE

I live 5 houses down from the section 8 apartment. It is basically a house with all the rooms seperated into "apartment's." We live on the third floor's old kitchen. So there are pipes sticking out of the walls and ground. I cover them with hats. There are communal bathrooms and kitchens, but there are ways around it. We have a mini fridge, a microwave, and pee in cups and throw them out the window. If we turn on the microwave, it knocks out the floor's power. All of the rooms are run off of one room with a crude wiring system. Rooms go for $15/day or $299/month, free electricity, free heat, free cable. The people who pay daily are mostly white panhandling junkies, most often in a couple. The ones who pay daily that are black are just prostitutes. EVERYONE who pays monthly is on SSDI/SSI and gets dat gumment paycheck. Me and my husband are the only people in that place that have jobs

This is my apartment.

It is one room.

My life in avondale part 1

I have decided that I am going to make a blog about my life in avondale.

BLAIR ST

In a lot of ways, it is just like any other street. But it really is the worst known street, with the worst reputation in avondale. Avondale in itself sucks and is generally looked down upon. As soon as you walk onto blair st, there is a HUGE section 8 apartment complex, which is a couple blocks long. Because it's so big, there are always at least 5 niggas otuside. I've organized the apartment people on the block into groups.

Dope boys - The niggas slangin heroin, crack, and occasionally weed. These types will hit on me if i don't have my 6foot aryan husband covered in spikes next to me at all times. They often hang out in groups of 6-8

Hood rats- the niggresses with obscurely died neon hair (to attract easy mates). Often with 1-3 children by their side. They will call my husband cute, enraging the dope boys, and compliment 'our style' and ask us where we did our hair.

The wheels - There are about 10 niggas who live in the sect. 8 apartment who are all in wheel chairs. It was apparent that these niggas used to be in a gang, and they all had their legs mutalated in a stand off or something, because they are all fairly young and in decent shape.

The kids - the little niglets who are constantly left unsupervised that love me and my husband. They call us rockstars, every time we see them they ask us to show them our 'rockstar moves'. There are a few older kids who we are helping get into rock and roll and one fat kid got an acoustic guitar but it only had three strings on it so i couldn't teach him anything.

Poor kids.

SO my apartment caught on fire today

 Yeah so i woke up this morning to find my friend across the hall's apartment was on fire

they never lock their door so i looked in, and their tv and just EVERYTHING was in flames, and they weren't there.

I called the fire department and my husband grabbed the fire extinguisher, which we soon found out a crack head huffed it.

Then our neighbor terry comes up, who seems to always save the day here. (he helped saved matt when he was overdosing). He put out the fire and just disappeared.

I called John and April, the couple who's apartment caught fire and they were devastated.

We were in good spirits though, as you can tell.

It was a hell of a way to wake up.

Except i threw up just a minute ago cause i inhaled too much plastic smoke ugh